Birthday Poem.

As I said in a previous post, it was my sons third birthdat very recently. I know its not exactly a ‘craft’ but I have always been passionate about writing ever since I can remember. So every year on my sons birthday I write him a poem and hope that when he is old enough he will appreciate them. I thought it would be nice to share this years poem here for my followers, so here it is:

Happy Birthday dear Remy,

On the day you are three,

You’ve changed so much,

But then so have we.

 

What you have become,

Is a charming young boy,

You make everyone happy,

And bring us such joy!

 

We couldn’t have askedm

For a more perfect son,

So polite and so handsome,

You make everyday fun.

 

So Happy Birthday from us,

After a wonderful year more,

Until your next poem,

On the day you are four.

 

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Filed under Fighting the Fibro!, My Craft Projects

Why? Just why?

I’ve been looking over some old pictures of myself, and I used to be so… Well I used to take care of my appearence and now well, I look like a ghost all the time. I don’t feel like myself, when I wear make-up now it just irritates my skin and eyes, My hair does my head in if it isn’t pulled up out of the way and wearing anything fashionable causes me great discomfort… So I’ve gone from looking like this:

And this:

To looking like this:

Not great. I feel ugly… Oh well hopefull one day I’l wake up and be well again.

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Apologies Are Due

Hello followers,

I understand I dissappeared for a while there, so I think I should explain why. Over the last month or so I have been at the pinnacle of busy. It was my neices/goddaughters christening at the end of August (At The End Of August is also an amazing song by my favourite band… The more you learn eh?) anyway and it was a lovely day as seldom does my whole family come together in one place. Although it didn’t do well for my health, I got up that day at 9am and got home at 4pm and instantly fell asleep on the sofa, I didnt wake up until 2pm the next day and when I woke I was still exhausted (the joys of Chronic Fatigue) anyway so I spent that week recovering!

The on the 2nd of September it was my sons third birthday, so on the 1st we went to Thomas Land in Drayton Manor, as Thomas the Tank Engine is my sons very favourite thing in the world, so though I was armed with my walking stick, it was a long and painful day but worth to see the joy on my sons face. Now by the time I got home I sat on the sofa and physically couldnt get up, which was a mild inconvenience as the next day I happened to be hosting a Birthday party for my son to which mine and my partners family were all invited. There are no words to describe the pain and exhaustion I felt that weekend, but I gritted my teeth and buckled down to give my son an amazing birthday like anyother child with a healthy parent would get. By the end of the day again I was pretty much out.

So as if this busy weekend wasn’t enough, on Monday I had to travel to an interview with ATOS healthcare or whatever they are called for an assesment to see if I’m ‘fit for work’. Well I am fit for a job where my boss doesnt mind me napping every half an hour and is content for me to sit there and do nothing while I try to deal with my pain, but I am waiting to hear back, but I’m expecting a letter anyday now claiming I am indeed ‘fit for work’ as I have been reading up and you pretty much have to have a terminal illness for them to declare you unfit for work.

Anyway so that again was another unpleasentness my broken body had to endure, and to be honest that is the extent of what my hazy memory can remember, I don’t know why I havent been blogging, I think its because over the last few weeks I’ve struggled to motivate myself to do anything.

To the present, I am really wrestling with life at the moment, today my partner started work so was out of the house nine to five leaving me to look after our son. Its only been one day but my God I feel like I’ve been giving a beating, not only physically, but I feel like such an awful mother. I didn’t realise how much I relied on my partner when it came to caring for our son until today. I have a whole new appreciation and admiration for him, dealing with our sons day to day needs and my own I dont know how he does it. I could barely stay awake for much of the day, its just a constant blur of getting up, meeting my sons request sitting back down, waking up again I dont know how long after because he wants something else, over and over and over. I don’t think anyone realises how I struggle with these tasks because I dont want them to know, I need help but I cant get it from anywhere. I can’t ask my partner to quit working and stay home because its not fair on him, he has been so frustrated being couped up with the two neediest life forms on the planet, and we’d have no money. Theres no help anywhere, I cant afford to send my son to nursery but its not fair for him to stay at home with me all day when I can barely look after myself. I dont want to asked anyone for help because I’m ashamed of myself that I can’t look after my son like other mums can, that I can’t stay awake and that tending to his needs is a constant cause of agony so I have to to do the minimum to get by. Its 3.30am in England I can’t sleep because I know tomorrow is going to be another torturefest for both of us. He must get so bored! I promised we would go swimming… Why would I promise such a thing when I dont know 100% if I can keep it or how I will be feeling tomorrow. I guess I just needed to get this out. I don’t suppose anyone anyone would read a post this long and boring, but I need to write it down somewhere.

Sorry again for dissappearing.

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Filed under My Ponderings

Another Little Project.

I made this little guy quite recently, its a Chiuaua key chain. Originally I made it for my mum but my son fell in love with it so I thought I would give it to him. So I figure I could make the next one for my mum.

I hope you guys like it!

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Pained Off.

Today I had to cancel on a friend as I was in too much pain to go. I feel really bad as I hate cancelling on people but some times it’s just impossible. It seems to be happening more and more frequently lately I don’t know why.

I just want to feel like a normal girl of my age sometimes…

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Filed under Fighting the Fibro!, My Ponderings

Treating Myself.

I’ve been making so many things for other people lately I thought it was high time I made something for myself! As it’s my nieces christening coming up very soon I decided to make a headband to go with the dress I will be wearing. Heres how it turned out:

I think its rather pretty.

Just a quick note: As you can see from this picture my roots are in desperate need of doing. I have been holding back from doing it due to the fact that the medication I am taking is drying out my scalp and it stings to even shampoo it! So I can’t imagine slathering it in amonia would make it any better. If anyone whos had a similar problem and has managed to solve it is out there, then please let me know! Thank you.

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Filed under Fighting the Fibro!, My Craft Projects, My Ponderings

My First Sale!

I’m very excited to say that I have actually sold one of my crocheted items! My friend saw the crochet bag that I made and lined and just loved it, so she asked me to make her one a little bigger. She is paying me £7 which is a big deal for me! She picked out the colours, button and lining, I just worked my magic putting it all together!

I’m very pleased with the way its turned out and I feel now the path is open and hopefully word of mouth with spread. Also my sister-in-law has ordered another hair band for my niece to wear to her christening although I won’t be charging them.

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Filed under My Craft Projects, My Ponderings